Dear Reader - An Open Letter

I started drafting this post in December. Then, I was really frustrated, filled with confusion and undirected antipathy. Since then, I have had time to cool down, step away to the country (read: no cell signal or other distractions) to

face my fears

and came back with a very different outlook. One that is

no longer angry but filled with optimism and promise

. I a way to go and am still tentative but I have confidence and will.

So here is my story; It is a very honest one. I feel I need to start this year by laying my cards on the table and telling you, my readers, who are very important to me, the truth. That will be my cleansing and the way to move forward without regrets. So bear with me while I spin a tale because there are some very important questions, on which,

I would like to hear from you

.

I am a banker at heart

. I am an engineer at heart. I am an involuntary geek at heart. I am a writer at heart. I am a foodie at heart. I am cook and baker at heart. I am an analyst at heart. I am a creator at heart. I am a doer at heart.

I started this blog in 2008 when a cataclysmic even hit my life. To be honest, even I did not recognize the depth of havoc it wrecked in me at the time. I did recognize that this blog was my crutch.

I am an engineer. I was made for numbers. I love maths. I love the logic and rationale of numbers. It is easy. I spent 27 years of my life happy in all that. Years that I planned the path to reach my goals and then achieved them. That came to a rearing halt suddenly. Or so I thought.

Ever since, I have been continually struggling get back into that world that motivated, stimulated, comforted and validated me. The one that I cherished,thrived in and absolutely loved - Banking, specifically, Investment Banking. I was masculine enough to be successful and just feminine enough to fall in love with the industry absolutely, irrevocably. I was single-mindedly focused on

my success

succeeding within my comfort zone.

Well, things happen and the financial crisis did. I began to write, cook and bake as a distraction first, a hobby later and somewhere along the way, a passion was born. For food and photography. I enjoy both to distraction. I did not choose. I relished that latent talent, which, curiously let me connect deeper to my feminine. I found that in me that was a natural caregiver, a born-again nurturer.

You see, from here on is where it gets all tangled and I got lost. The more I discovered and reveled in my feminine, I seem to have leaned away from all that was masculine in me.

As an ambitious young woman, still seeking glory and firmly infatuated by the world of banking, this particular deviation is a terrible misfortune. Where I was once coldly rational and logical to the point of being linear and binary, I was becoming more creative yet losing structure. I was recently told, that I have a lyrical way of analysing things and have a natural tendency for being innovative. Lovely words, but, what it translates to is, I am not analytical with clarity anymore!

I realised in developing this creative outlet of mine, without the counterbalance of an analytical anchor of a regular day job, I was, regrettably, becoming a rudderless ship lost in a giant ocean of distractions. My knee jerk response was to lash out at the new me and disown everything that I had become. When rationality settled in, I realised that was just plain silly. Renouncing what I had done for five years not only invalidates all my accomplishments (small and non-traditional as they may be) and joys but also is just impossible. I simply cannot pick and choose parts of me. I have to accept the whole and love it.

I turned my back here once and am paying the price for it. Between 2009 and 2011, this blog was more than my lifeline. Its trajectory was upward trending and all the metrics were healthy, in bold green. Then I got some not-so-great news on logistics. Blindly, I ran away. And, since, to be absolutely honest, I am still trying to get back what I lost in engagement with you. I am sorry to abandoning you then.

I will not do that again. I want to focus on you and what you would like to more of here. What can I do better? What am I missing?

The key to my frustration was that I am no longer unidimensional. I do not fit into preconceived boxes. I am not this OR that and so don't classify in the minds of hiring managers easily. They really don't know what to make of me. A large of part of that was,tbh, just an outward representation of my inner confusion. The question of 'Who am I?' is one I have been wrestling with for the past couple of years. A lot of work on myself has gone into this leading to several life changes. The satire in it is that I am a happier person but my happiness goes against the grain of every possible traditionality I grew up with. That is the cause of my prevarication.

It took a lot of convincing and support from close friends to realise that what I am does not strike through what I was but rather just strikes out. So, I have finally mustered up my courage (all my reflections boil down to fear of failure and disappointment) to break the mold and strike out for myself. I have always believed that I am what I make of myself. But, I don't think I had much faith in that. It was cool to pay lip service to it while I continued to plod along a route taken by millions of people before me and millions that will after.

I am not going to be another statistic. I am a woman at heart and a man in mind and am proud of it!

2014 is my year to channel both those energies to work together

. I know, there are thousands of quips for this situation. In essence, I have to

harness my hermaphroditian personality

.

This blog will no longer be my crutch but rather be my crux; portfolio, showcase, launch pad. I have some ideas but for them to be of value,

I need your help

Dear Reader,

I would greatly appreciate it, if you could help me understand a few things. Please be brutally honest, candor is important -

1. Why do you read blogs, specifically, food blogs? What do you connect with?

2. What brings you to my blog? Is it the food, photography or writing?

3. What content would you like more of? What do you find missing that I should fill a gap?

4. Is there a topic that is difficult to find and you wish someone wrote about?

5. Do you like prefer to read stories just about the food featured rather than life observations?

6. Does the site's layout and navigation work for you? Is it easy for you browse and find what you want? If not, what would you like to see?

So there, that is my letter from the heart to you. I would definitely love to hear from you and your thoughts but if you don't want to comment, no worries at all. :)

Thank you for patiently reading my outpourings, I have a lovely treat for you in return. A

Rosemary Apple Crumble

which I think manages to capture an elegant balance of simple and flavor. It is simply all about the apple, there are no distractions, yet it has a richness in depth of flavor.

In essence, I want to be like this crumble but that is going to be a lot more work than this recipe is to make.

xx

Asha

Rosemary Apple Crumble

{for two}

1/2 cup chopped golden apples

1/4 cup almonds, crushed

1/2 tsp, finely chopped rosemary

1 T cold butter, diced into dots + a bit for brushing the bottom of the cups

Pre-heat oven to 375F.

Brush the bottom of two individual dessert baking pots with butter. Divide the apple pieces into them. Sprinkle the almond chunks and rosemary on top. Dot the crumble with butter.

Bake for 30 minutes until the nut topping is browned.

Cool for a few minutes and serve warm topped with ice cream.

You can make this ahead and serve by reheating for 15 minutes at 350F.

2013 - The Year in Review

What a year this has been?! It felt like it sped by but, really, it did not. Looking back now, I can feel every moment of the year in the same pulsating heat of the moment then.

Twelve months ago, there was no way I would have predicted how this year went and least of all, my big move from Manhattan to Brooklyn and how much I love it here now! This year has been filled with pleasant surprises and some not-so-welcome ones that nevertheless always had a silver lining. Even this month has been an especial roller coaster testing me as a person.

I am happy I have survived and am going to walk in 2014 smelling of roses and with plans to plant a metaphorical garden!

As far as this site is concerned, it was indeed a landmark year completing five years of existence and in that time seeing several reincarnations as I worked on figuring out who I am and where I wanted to be. This was my medium of expression. I wrote essays here about introspection, analysis and metamorphosis; words tumbling out needing an outlet to gain meaning. Thanks to all who supported me in those questioning moments and reached out to make me feel a part of an incredible community.

I pushed myself this year to do somethings that I hadn't before and in general experiment in life. As I close the curtain on 2013, it feels right to share some of the highlights of the year with you...

Partnerships and Published Work

SANDALS RESORTS

,

ZONIN WINES & LE CIRQUE

,

WHOLE FOODS

,

SPENSER MAGAZINE

I can now call myself a

journalist!

Yes! This is one the biggest accomplishments of the year. I am a

chosen contributor for

The Daily Meal

and write for independent magazines. This year, I also widened my client work base and have partnered with passionate providers and purveyors. For a complete

list of my clients

, click

here

.

Experiments in Food

STUFFED EGGPLANT

,

LENTIL PANCAKES

,

ALMOND TORTE

,

PEAR & OATS SHORTCAKES

The thing about growing older and being fairly aware of your body is that, over time, you realise that you can't really eat & drink all that you could in your twenties and be just fine the next day. I am not allergic to any food type but I do contend a preference for certain items not being in my diet on a regular basis, including yeast, gluten and package cow's milk. So, that meant experimenting! I switched to almond milk and am now playing with raw milk. Will let you know how the latter it goes. I started making more gluten free and vegan meals. And, in doing so, not only rediscovered some of my past (Indian cuisine is largely gluten free) but also had a ton of fun playing with my food!

Farmers Markets and Seasonal Produce

RAMP SCONES

,

PEACH LATTICE PIE

,

ROASTED PLUM ICECREAM

,

LEEK AND TOMATO GALETTE

,

CABBBAGE RELISH

Pledging to a healthy lifestyle means eating what should be eaten rather than what can be eaten. I am reading Omnivores Dilemma now. If you have read it, you know what I mean. Even if you haven't, I think it's common sense to try to eat local and seasonal, so that the body gets the most when it needs it. So, in that effort, I signed up for the CSA again this year, supporting a farm in upstate NY. I also did my grocery shopping from farmers' markets, real seafood stores and local butchers. Surprisingly, I found that contrary to popular belief, this lifestyle is no more expensive than buying from grocery stores. It does however mean that I have plan what I get when because, well, market dynamics are a reality (Saturday markets are more expensive than weekday ones). All in all, a year of fantastic eating!

Certifications and Classes

STACKED FRENCH TOAST

,

HANDMADE BAGELS

,

CROISSANTS

This year, I took my first class in food. Really! I have never studied anything other than science or numbers. Even my attempts at learning French were a bit half-hearted. I did an intensive certificate course in Bread Baking at the International Culinary Center in May. It was a time in my life of much disarray and the course was just what I needed to get back some perspective. I learned so much and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of class. It is ironic that I found that I am mildly unhappy with gluten but the techniques and tips I picked up on the course with stay with me for a lifetime. Plus, I have now have a certificate too! Ha!

Experiments in Photography

The camera has always been my friend. This year I tried to break away from the standards of styling and express my whimsies through my photographs. I love black and white photos and I realised food and life is beautiful in binary tones. I also enjoyed giving in to spontaneous ideas using things of practical use as unintended props. So much fun and so much learning! It only goes one way! :)

So, that was my 2013.

Wish you all a fantastic end of year! May your hearts be filled with hope and your mind with dreams for a fabulous year ahead!

xoxo

Asha

The Real Questions?

I once knew someone who had an uncanny knack of asking the right questions, but, for the wrong reasons. It happened twice with me and both times it led me to acknowledge significant facts of my life that I was, perhaps, in denial with before. For that, I am, in retrospect, glad I was forced to answer those questions. You see, when a thought or question once worms its way into my mind, it stays there and germinate, festers until I have been able to address and answer it without any shadow of doubt! :)

Yes, I spend a lot of time and energy in analysis.. of life, self, things and people around. I find they all lead to a greater appreciation of life and through my own and others' experiences allow for so much growing up and building strength. The mind is a curious and fascinating organ. It retains and readdresses, constantly redefining and readjusting. Sometimes, I even feel like I can step out of my physical self and watch this astral body in action, amused by its battles with self in an effort to perceive and percept!

Anyway, I have been mulling over something related to this blog and my presence here, overall. I have been debating

renaming my blog

. The thought was seeded earlier this year and I didn't do anything about it until the whole discourse of branding and related associations were thrown at me during FBC#5, when I could not ignore it anymore! Something had to be done!

You see, fork spoon knife, is lovely but I don't think it represents who I am here, any more. For one, my interests stretch beyond the plate. For another, practically, it has no direct association with me, Asha. And, it is extremely hard to capture the essence of what I am doing here into a logo that also relates to the name. Also, I want to bring together multiple interest channels - business consulting, writing, photography - under one parent brand.

So, I have been debating changing the name of the blog... to MADE BY ASHA. It has been occupying and distracting me quite a bit now and hence, my absence from the space for a bit of time now.

That's the gist of my mental calisthenics and I would love to hear your thoughts about it.

What do you think of when you hear fork spoon knife?

Is the name confusing to recall?

If you met me at a conference, would you call me Asha or FSK?

Thank you so much for your inputs!

For a Tuscan Bite.. A review of Giulia's cookbook - I Love Toscana

As I have often said, when I first started blogging, I had few expectations of it. I did it because I had nothing else to do. Today, I stand at quite a different place with dreams and castles built on this delicate piece of virtual space. Air Castles you say? Air Chrysalis, perhaps :)

Nevertheless, my biggest joy of having this virtual presence has been the very real and tactile human relationships I have formed over the years. I have met and continue to meet such incredible people with such deep passions for this world that it leaves me awed by the magic of humanity and inspired to be worthy of that company. It's like when you go to support a marathon runner, somehow, briefly as it may, you feel the desire to run one as well.

Many a time, I have considered these interactions casual, yet they have persisted so long, it has dawned on me that there is something deeper after all. It has always intrigued me to meet people through my blog as they were so entirely different, in backgrounds, experiences and outlooks, from me and the social circle I was familiar with, thus far. Yet, they are equally ambitious, resourceful, smart and inspiring without being ruthless, calculative or materialistic. It has been such a great eye and mind opening experience. I have met some amazingly warm, true to their soul, genuine people who have welcomed me with open arms and no judgement! What? No Judgement??! Yes, really, have you met me?!

I am incredibly honored to call as friends some of the most talented, beautiful and amazing people I have ever met in my life! They have in various ways inspired and motivated me and I have the utmost respect for their work and even more so for the largeness of their hearts. I cannot but not keep talking about them in my posts, so you know who they are. I am thrilled that three of them are (or soon to be) published and will be able to bring the joy of their work and their cuisine to millions of people through their cookbooks.

Today, I wanted to

talk about my Italian journey with

Giulia

and her cookbook,

I Love Toscana

, which, is a

testament to her passion for Tuscany

, it's land and savoring the fruits of it. I stayed with Giulia for a week last year and after having engorged myself, during that time, on several of her homemade dishes, I can, with hand on my heart, say that she is simply a brilliant chef! Her love for Tuscany is so distinct in every bite of her food. There is no way you can escape falling in love with the region when a beautiful and accomplished friend gives such a passionate presentation of it. I also blame her, in jest of course, for the pounds of happy weight I added on that trip!

There was, of course, no hesitation at all, when her cookbook came out, in ordering it. I wanted the piece of heaven I had visited, on my plate, again, in the urban chaos of NYC. I begged and pleaded with her to come visit me... with the secret hope of reliving all that joy from a mere few months back. I am still working on that but, meanwhile, I decided I could not wait for Heaven any longer. As soon as I had her book in my hands, I earmarked a number of recipes that I had to try!

Oh! I wanted to cook that

Coniglio ad arrosto morto

(altho I have never even cooked rabbit before!) and that

Fresh herb Arista

(Such simple elegant flavors but such a bold dish) and that

Capon braised in tomato

and...that and...that and...that! The list of course was the entire book! There were meats that I had never cooked before but could not wait to. I am still asking my farmers for rabbit! Her book gives you recipes to make wholesome, hearty, heartfelt dishes that are at the same time so elegant and so well-put together that you cannot but feel the chef's heart on the table!

So, after all this, browsing, salivating etc. I have yet to make many of those dishes. One day I will. Meanwhile, an epiphany hit me, as I sat one cold day, posturing to myself and desiring some warmth. Not much more. Just that. For no reason, I picked up Juls' book, thumbing through my bookmarked pages and then thumbed through it again, because I had none of the ingredients for the more elaborate ones that had caught my fancy. I landed on page 63, which, was a Spelt Soup. It called to me. And then it hit me.

The pure joy of Tuscan food is in the simplicity of it! As Tessa Kiros says in her prologue to Juls's cookbook "

These are dishes that are honest and strongly respect their main ingredients

". Indeed!

So I made soup with mustard greens, beans and dried morel mushrooms. It was inspired by the Spelt Soup.

Simple. Rich. Comforting. Laced with love. I smiled.

That's all! Need I say more?

Then another day, I wanted something sweet. Page 140. Rice pudding tarts. OK, I don't like rice pudding but I love tarts! And, the thing about Giulia's short crust pastry recipe, it has none of the fuss of cutting in cold butter and worrying about it melting in the heat of your hands. In hers, you gently rub the butter into the flour and see the magic of lending your hand to the recipe.

In short, her recipes are about being real and comfortable and thus bringing out the best in the ingredients and the dishes.....

I have also reenacted a number of recipe from

Giulia's blog,

Jul's Kitchen

. One of my absolute favorites, which, I think should be a pantry staple is her recipe for

Sugo Finto

, a vegetarian pasta sauce that is rich and meaty in flavor, without the meat. It is super easy to make and fantastic for feeding large crowds (which I did) and an easy base for add ons!

And, one of my favorite sweet recipes from Jul's blog is this stunningly simple

Crostata

!