At the start of the month, I made a promise to myself - to keep this Holiday season as light as I could. Specifically, what I outlined in my monthly newsletter was…
It doesn't mean I don't plan special projects; it means having the ability to let go of a plan when it doesn't feel right, and, to simply stay present and alive.
Little did I think then how much going with the flow I would end up doing and at some point the flow did get to me. Now, to be sure, this is the reality of omicron and the last two years of pandemic! I did make a list of bakes dutifully that I wanted to indulge in and that I thought could also be accomplished in the company and involvement of two toddlers. We made a few of them and, rather gracefully ( I think) let go of the desire to cross off more from the list. Some were very popular, like scones (oh scones! on repeat!) and breads. Some not so much, Christmas cookies for one. I tried my hand at making the Instagram trend, chocolate bombs, and, rather liked it! I think that one is a keeper. The wonder of them melting into warm milk for my toddler is well worth the limited effort it took to make it!
On the serious note, I did by the end of the month feel a sense of being burnt out. It was only expected, what with having to bow to some external obligation even when I had my own resolutions - the pressure of gifting, especially, people we don’t well know, but are meaningful in our lives and therefore deserve special attention. This year TF and I made Holiday cards to each person, who were significant in our lives. The impetus was external (school needs) but we took it up with the gusto of exercising our creative sides. That is for the first two cards! LOL. There was brain storming, there was camaraderie, there was JOY! Third and Fourth were functional. After that, she plain lost interest, and, I plain panicked at a job half done and a toddler who clearly lost interest but I saw as quitting on me. LOL. Yes, stress. Well, until I realized rather dramatically, that I could just finish it because I hadn’t yet tired of the activity and who would know better! :) The sun shone brighter after that.
The last week to Christmas was filled with a lot of such small incidents that needed constant realignment of thinking and letting go of assumptions made at the beginning of the period, including the big one I started the month with - The desire to simply stay present and alive.
In making that assertion, I had made the assumption that the road would be easy if only I listened to myself. That this would be the path of least resistance. The reality was that it was work to stay present, a lot of mental work. I had also assumed that this path would be stress free, and, therefore, when the stress did come, inevitably in these times, it felt like treachery!! Indeed, the stress about being stressed was more stressful than the cause of said stress itself. Until, I simply acknowledged it, grounded into the feeling and stopped analysing and overthinking it!
And, as I look back at this year, will be my takeaway, my learning and what I plan to lean into more in the coming year(s).
To Acknowledge and Accept my reality without Judgement; To Clarify and declutter my thoughts, sometimes, by simply NOT thinking; TO be kind to myself and therefore to and of others.
Once Christmas was past and I was less sleep deprived, a weight was lifted and I woke on Boxing Day with a desire to make something special, something light and fluffy like I was feeling. So, We, both TFs and I made this “Dutch baby” pancake. I assumed without research that this was of Dutch origin but a quick google enlightened me of the story of a little girl in Minnesota who could not pronounce “Deutsche”, and called them “Dutch“. These originally German pancakes are larger one pan bakes, that are thinner than an American pancake, with a lot less flour, and thicker than a French crepe, with a lot less milk. They are absolutely stunning in their statuesque beauty and sublime taste.
If you are looking for a relaxed family brunch on New Year day or any other weekend or any day really, I would highly recommend these!
Deutsch Baby
adapted from NY TIMES
3 eggs
½ cup flour
½ cup milk
1 T sugar
1 tsp vanilla
3T + 3T melted butter
Powdered sugar and fruit to top
Combine all the ingredients and 3 tablespoons of butter and whiz in a blender till fully combined.
Preheat oven to 425F and place the skillet in to heat. When the oven is ready, add the remaining butter into the hot pan to melt.
Pour the batter in and bake for 15 minutes until puffed and then lower to 300 and bake for 5 more minutes.
Remove from oven, dust with powdered sugar, top with fruit and serve immediately!
