Some months ago, I decided to take control of my life and change it.. I remember the day... I remember the circumstance.. It was not unusual or extraordinary... I was having my regular cup of coffee and ruminating and there was a spark. I made the decision.... and, have not turned back since.
Yet, I revisit it often... I think of the surprising lucidity that moment stood for... When every thing seemed to be un-broken...
I decided then to run my life the way I wanted to... quitting a job that was just not me... and changing just about everything else in my life... all at the same time...It seemed very courageous then.. everybody was aghast.... it seems just right now and something I should have done, perhaps long before it happened... time and place I suppose...
Nevertheless, the last year and half has been an incredible learning experience.. at so many levels... I know in that time, this blog has suffered.. Truth be told, I was demotivated.. I chose the pleasures of life to the at-the-time thankless tedium of keeping this blog going in the face of disappointment and unfulfilled ambitions..
But I look back at that time and now only see how incredibly lucky I was to skirt disaster.... To find light at the end of the tunnel.. to find strength inside and support outside and despite negative protests to do the right thing... for me... to be fair... to me.....
So I did.. I am taking a hiatus from the bustle of life. I chose to travel...But funnily, life had other plans... I went.. and came back :) that is another story..
In the last post, I spoke about London... a place I revisit, often... A place which is as different from New York as can be, yet where I feel quite comfortably at home as I am in my own house. Perhaps, it is that I know some of the most amazing warm and open people and was fortunate enough to spend a week with them...
So, here I am at the cusp of Summer and Fall, thinking back to Spring and my best laid plans. I don't know where this will take me but that is a journey, I am hoping to take without prejudice and preconceived notions...
To walk away requires comfort and acceptance of memories and a casual remembrance of the past without baggage.... is that possible? I don't know but I am going to try...
But sometimes, all you need is fresh bread and good homemade jam to believe.... :)